what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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