do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
