dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
