That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
