found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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