I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize