Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize