I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
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