No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize