You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
