Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
