yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
