I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
