Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
