The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
