We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
True strength comes from lack of pants
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
