My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We are two peas in an std pod
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
