3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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