You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize