If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
