I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
how drunk are you?
Several
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
