Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
