they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
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Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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