I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
