If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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