I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize