There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
