i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
