you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
