Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
