If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
