question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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