OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
