Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
