they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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