even my farts smell like vagina
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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