Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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