Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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