And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
