So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dignity is for republicans.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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