I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
