He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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