I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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