Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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