There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
