I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize