Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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