Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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