you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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