He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
