They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
how does that bad decision feel?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize