one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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