giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
