Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
