Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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