You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
