i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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