Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I need a beard to bite.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
