she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
