So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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