I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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